ADAM HAYES • APR 15

Your 20s are undoubtedly the most pivotal time in your life. While there are plenty of temptations and distractions, the decisions you make here are truly what dictate your future, as the weak fall and only the strong survive.

Do you have what it takes to become a monumental success? Or will you live out a life of mediocrity? The choice is up to you. While many think they have all the answers and the keys to success, we have seen too many times before those people make the same pitfalls.

This is the time for you to hustle, scrap and fight for the life that you want for yourself. You manifest your own destiny during these crucial years.

Every move you make is a test. Don’t f*ck it up. These are the 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s.

· 20. Working for money, not for building your dreams

Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you. Look to challenge yourself and build your own dream instead of building someone else’s. Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense now, create something with great value so you can cash out big. Always look to the future and never for immediate compensation. What are you going to do with those weekly wages anyways? Stop being so entitled and pretending like you deserve cash, prizes and vacations just yet. You will soon realize once you’ve made it that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey.

· 19. Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love

While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of getting into a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual. Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes your boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home. Get out there, meet new people, test the limits and have fun. It will take you to the places you’ve dreamed of going.

· 18. Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one

Instead of going overboard on the Gucci monogram and bottles in the club, as if you just signed to Rocnation, spend the time focusing on your career. Every second counts and if more time is spent pretending to be the person you want to be instead of becoming that man, then you’ll sink in quick sand without even knowing it. A real man is willing to make sacrifices. If you aren’t down to put in the work, then please don’t act like you are. You can enjoy the success when you actually attain it.

· 17. Making friends instead of earning trust

The in-crowd may be tempting, but you’ll probably fall victim to surrounding yourself with social climbers and bottle whores. We know you feel entitled to celebrate, but please relax. It’s never attractive when you act as though this is the last time you’ll ever see this in life. Make connections with people based on trial and error, not presuppositions and drunk ranting about what they can do for your business. If you ever want people to take you seriously, then you have to take them seriously. Just because you think you trust someone doesn’t always mean you can. Heed any red flags in the past before jumping into any kind of venture with them.

· 16. Not caring because you only live once — that is for fools

We all are guilty of irrational decision-making in our 20s. Fast people and fast times with money in your pocket always lead to over-extending yourself. A life of partying, heavy drugs and pretty much having that YOLO attitude will leave you flat on your ass. Get focused and lock into what you’re supposed to be doing. If you don’t know what that is, then you better figure it out ASAP.

· 15. Making all your wants, needs

Expensive women and cheap thrills coupled with the expensive sneakers should not be on the list of your needs. Setting the foundation for your business and team is far more important than updating your wardrobe and chasing sex. Distinguish between what you want and what you actually need. Make sure your priorities are in tact or you will lose your track.

· 14. Forgetting that family comes first

Those who supported you before anything deserve to be taken care of when you reach your success. If you aren’t doing this for the ones you love, then you’re not doing it right. Family comes first, no matter what happens. If you work for whom you love instead of just yourself, you will get far.

· 13. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life

Hold yourself accountable for everything. At the end of the day, all you have in the world is yourself — so go hard. Don’t look to anyone for answers and instead of making problems, create solutions. Whether it was that job you wanted, the funding you needed or the love you think you can’t live without, there is no one that can be held accountable in this universe except for you.

· 12. Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time

Unless you’re fornicating with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break any time soon. You need a vacation? What have you accomplished? Mark Cuban spent 7 years building out his first business before he even took a break. Don’t get lazy now.

· 11. Sticking with jobs that didn't teach you anything

A bad job is like a bitchy girlfriend that gives bad head. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know. Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs. The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable, 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice.

· 10. Following the crowd instead of forging against it

You can be aware of the trends, but never follow them. If all your time is spent trying to adjust to your surroundings, you’ll get lost in the crowd all the more easily. Success and greatness are constructed by trendsetters themselves, not those who latched on to what’s currently trending. We hope that you don’t have any aspirations to look like your favorite rapper. Temptation to be influenced by those who you aspire to be like is easy, but no one finds their calling following in the footsteps of another.

· 9. Failing to energize those around you

Although you may sometimes think there is a lack of talent in your networks — this is never the case. It is your sole responsibility to inspire, encourage and drive those around you to success. Failing to do so only confirms that you fall victim to that which you accuse others of. Change and greatness can be sparked everywhere, but bring it upon yourself to trigger it.

· 8. Think you need to stop learning and growing

You have more zeros at the end of your bank statement, stamps in your passport and women in your bed than you had ever imagined. Don’t consider this your victory lap, but rather as a taste of greatness. Do you live to enjoy the moments you dreamed of or a lifetime of unimaginable success? The common misconception that once things are in your favor, you no longer have to put in the 3:00AM work hours is a dangerous problem. The fewer nights that you’re willing to put in the work, the fewer opportunities you will have to celebrate your achievements in the future.

· 7. Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back

Your 20s will be accompanied with a slew of poor investments by yourself and those around you. Whether rich or poor, there will always be someone in your circle that will need a helping hand. If you ever think you’re going to see that money again, you’re sorely mistaken. If there were a plan of action and re-investment, then the truth is that you will not see $1 back. Times are tough, especially in your 20s and finding a route back to financial freedom is often seen only when winning the lotto or signing your first deal with Ca$h Money Records. Of course miracles do happen, but the probabilities that you’ve essentially given the money away are far too high.

· 5. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life

You’ll be sucked down into the abyss right with them if you don’t cut the fat of the group. Family and friends could have been great to you as a child, but if they no longer hold the value and inspiration that is needed for you to thrive in life, then cut them loose. The only individuals you should be surrounding yourself with are those that challenge your ideas and motivate you to find the next solution to your problems. No, not the pessimistic assholes who shoot down your ideas with their negativity, but rather the ones who genuinely want to see you succeed no matter what you do in life.

· 4. Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have

If our check is for $9, than we’re most likely spending $30. Between credit cards, school loans and every other avenue for attaining a quick dollar, our need for immediate gratification is worse than ever. The truth is it’s about making more money, not saving it. But at the same time, if you have no means for expanding your revenue channels then you must be able to save a few dollars here and there. No one like to have to walk to work because they blew every dollar at LAVO.

· 1. Forgetting that karma is a huge b*tch

Whether it’s burning bridges with people you loved, stealing your friend’s girlfriend, or plotting against an ex-partner, we must always remember that karma is the biggest b*tch we’ve ever met. There is nothing more true than the fact that whatever goes around comes around, and you are not immune to the cosmic forces that be. We’re not asking you to go on your Mother Teresa pilgrimage, but don’t be surprised when reality catches back up with you and brings you to your knees. Be a good person. You’ll get further in life.

http://elitedaily.com/life/the-20-mistakes-you-dont-want-to-make-in-your-20s/#slide-14

DEC. 6, 2012

By RYAN O'CONNELL

1. Your social circle will narrow. In college, you’ll have lots of acquaintances and party friends but that will dissipate over time. Eventually, you’ll find yourself unable to spark up new friendships simply because you don’t have the time or desire. Now you’ll only make a new friend and let them into your life if you’re absolutely obsessed with them.

2. You’ll seriously consider going to grad school. You’ll call your mom up in a panic one day and explain that you’ve always enjoyed something like psychology and, well, maybe it’s time to start entertaining the idea of, um, being a therapist. Mom? Stop sighing!

3. You will hate your job at some point, even if it’s better than 99% of your other friends’ jobs. You will be overworked and underpaid presumably until you’re 40. Then, you’ll suddenly be overpaid and not do much of anything. Right? That’s how it works?

4. Someone will betray your trust — a friend or a lover — and it will change the way you view people forever.

5. You will do things that hurt you just because you’re not ready to feel good yet.

6. You will sleep with people who you genuinely like, have a great time with, but never want to date. Ever.

7. After learning your age, someone will say to you, “Wow, you’re so young!” and occasionally you’ll believe them.

8. You’ll miss certain days before they even end.

9. You’ll spend an entire day hungover in bed and nothing will make you feel more like a fucking idiot. Not even taxes or putting the fitted sheet on your bed.

10. You’ll read a book that will change your life. People say that all the time, especially your grandma and your mom and your professors in college, and it always made you roll your eyes but now you get it. Life is changed. You are this book’s bitch. You fell in love with it in the same way you fell in love with someone in high school: blindly and all-consuming. I’m talking about the book that became the lens from which you chose to see the world. You were just waiting for something to come along and explain to you how the world works, to make it all easier for you. and it came. You will remember this book more vividly than some of the people you dated for three months in college.

11. You’ll meet people who are vultures, who were literally sent to this world just to annoy you, to work half as hard and somehow become more successful. They’re networking leeches. Don’t take their business card! Save yourself!

12. Some days you will wake up and be astounded by how ugly you are. People are always saying things like, “OMG, I look like shit right now!” but they don’t. You’re the one who looks like shit (truly!) so shut up everyone else!

13. That being said, there’ll be some days when you look in the mirror and think to yourself, “Okay, I’d fuck me.” That’s good. It’s healthy to want to fuck yourself.

14. The Internet will hurt your feelings. You will find out information you wish you never knew and maybe you’ll go so far as to even cry! Imagine that: a machine you spent over a grand on is making you weep. Screw the Internet.

15. You will understand that the biggest battle you fight in your twenties is the one you’re in with yourself. The most important thing you can learn in this decade is how to love yourself. Without that knowledge, your life will always be a little bit terrible. You will always be dating someone who’s a little bit rotten and you’ll always be working a job that sucks. It affects everything so be sure to make yourself a priority. Work on liking yourself before working on getting someone else to like you.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/15-guaranteed-things-that-will-happen-to-you-in-your-20s/

Sunday, May 26, 2013

It's all about frequency

Friday, May 24, 2013

The 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20s